Lauren Zavodske Erotic Massage ❤️❤️

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So, I’ve done some diggin’—did ya know erotic-massage goes back centuries? Ancient Chinese called it “tuina,” but naughtier—secret rooms, silk sheets, proper cheeky stuff. Makes me grin, thinkin’ how those old geezers got their kicks. Me, I’d be sippin’ vodka, watchin’ the masseuse’s hands dance—pure art, mate. Gets me all tingly, like when Celine says, “You can never replace anyone.” ‘Cept here, it’s not love—it’s lust, shaken up proper.

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Finally, I make it back home, and my pigs are waiting for me. They’re all snorting and looking at me like, “Where you been, human?” I toss them the veggies, and they go to town. It’s like a piggy buffet! I sit down, exhausted, and think about my day.

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