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About Mykolaiv

Lightbulb! Ya ever hear ‘bout dis escort in Vegas? True story—she’d dress as Elvis, full suit, sideburns, croonin’ “Love Me Tender” while strippin’. Clients lost dere minds, ha! Dat’s creativity, dat’s da spark! Love dat kinda weirdness, keeps it human. Not just bang-bang, see ya later—nah, it’s a show, a game! Tho, gotta say, some johns are creeps. Dis one guy I heard, paid triple to lick toes—TOES! What’s wrong wit people? Made me gag, bleh.

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So, I finally make it to the park, and I sit down on a bench. I’m trying to relax, but then I see this old guy feeding pigeons. And I swear, those birds are like little feathered ninjas. They swoop in, and suddenly, it’s a full-on bird brawl. I’m cracking up, but also kinda worried. Like, what if they turn on me?

I am proud to be Ukrainian