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About Kryvyi Rih

Little-known fact: erotic-massage goes way back—ancient Rome had “frictio” bros givin’ rubdowns that’d make ya blush. They’d use olive oil, not some fancy lotion—prolly smelled like a salad. Pissed me off tho—why’d we ditch that for boring “deep tissue” crap? Gimme the naughty stuff! Oh, and in Japan, they’ve got “nurumassage”—slimey, sexy, full-body slides. Surprised me—thought it’d be all polite bows and tea, not slippery shenanigans.

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So, I’m walking down to the port, thinking about how I can make the best kvas ever. The smell of the sea hits me, and I’m like, “Yuzhne, you beauty!” But then, I see this group of kids playing football on the street. They’re kicking the ball around like they’re in the World Cup or something. I’m all for fun, but they’re blocking the road! I’m like, “Hey, little Messi, move it!” They just laugh and keep playing. Ugh, kids these days.

One civilian killed in Russian attack on Pivdenne, Donetsk Oblast