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Yo, so sexual-massage, right? It’s wild, man. Like, you got hands kneading you, all sensual-like, and I’m sittin here thinkin—*“Revenge is good, right?”*—straight outta *Oldboy*. That movie’s my jam, twisted as hell. Sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin backs, nah, it’s some next-level shit. People be actin like it’s all innocent, but yo, it’s got history. Ancient Greeks were on it—called it “anatripsis,” fancy word for gettin freaky with oil. I’m like, damn, they knew what’s up.

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So, I hit the streets, right? First stop, the market on Shevchenka Street. I’m just tryna grab some fresh veggies. But guess what? The vendor was outta tomatoes! Like, c’mon, it’s a market! What’s a salad without tomatoes? I was fuming. I mean, who runs outta tomatoes?