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Oi, fam, it’s me, Ali G, innit! So, check it, I’m proper buzzin’ to chat about escorts, yeah? Not them dodgy geezers in suits, nah, I mean the cars, bruv – Ford Escort, proper legend! Man like me, I’m a mourner, deep vibes, and I’m linkin’ this to me fave flick, *The White Ribbon*, ya get me? That film’s dark, bruv, all about secrets and weird vibes in a village, and I’m thinkin’ – escorts got their own mysteries, innit!

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After that, I decided to stroll down to the park by the river. The Dniester River, you know? It’s beautiful there, especially in the morning light. But then, outta nowhere, this kid on a bike zooms past me and splashes mud all over my shoes! Ugh! I was like, “Dude, really?” But then I saw his face, and he was just so proud of himself. I couldn’t help but laugh. Kids, man.