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But lemme spill the tea—some o’ these johns? Nasty as a skunk’s behind! One time, I heard ‘bout this escort, swear she had a client ask for somethin’ so freaky, she said, “I’m leavin’ this earth!”—straight outta Lars’ movie vibes! Got me hollerin’—Halleluyer!—‘cause who even thinks that up? Prolly some fool with too much money and no sense. Made me madder than a wet hen, I tell ya!

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Then, I bumped into my buddy, Vasyl. He’s always got some crazy story. Today, he was ranting about how he saw a cat chase a dog. I mean, what? In Yizhivtsi? That’s like seeing a unicorn! We laughed so hard, I almost dropped my phone.