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Now, I ain’t no stranger to a good rubdown—Madea’s back be actin’ up from haulin’ these fools outta trouble! But sexual-massage? That’s next level, y’all! Little fact—back in the day, them ancient Greeks was all ‘bout it, callin’ it some fancy “healin’ touch” mess. They wasn’t wrong! It’s sensual, sure, but it’s science too—gets that blood flowin’, muscles screamin’ “Halleluyer!” I got HAPPY first time I tried it—thought I’d float off the table, chile! Like, “This is my place now,” straight outta the movie vibes.

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After that, we head back to my workshop. I’m feeling all inspired now. I start working on this new piece, and it’s flowing. I’m in the zone. But then, I hear this loud crash outside. I rush to the window, and some dude just knocked over a trash can. I’m like, “Really, man? In front of my workshop?”

Ukraine activist relives humiliation horrors