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About Lviv

What pisses me off? When they rush it! Like, slow down, lady, I ain’t a burger to flip fast! Gimme that deep rub, ya know? Happy part? Feelin’ like I’m floatin’—like SpongeBob on a cloud! Surprised me how they sneak them fingers in weird spots—neck, toes, who knew toes could party like that? Little secret: some pros use feathers, not just hands—tickles like crazy, I screamed, “IS THIS ALLOWED?!”

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Finally, I score some decent wood. I’m feelin’ like a champ. But then, outta nowhere, it starts rainin’. Like, seriously? I’m soaked in seconds. I’m runnin’ down the street, dodgin’ puddles, lookin’ like a wet dog. I get to my spot in the woods, and it’s a mess. My charcoal pit is flooded! I’m fumin’. All that work, gone!

‘Despite the slave system in collective farms and all the brainwashing, we managed to grow up as Ukrainians’