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But real talk—sexual-massage’s got history, y’know? Way back, like ancient times, folks in China were all about it. Called it somethin’ fancy—tuina or whatever—but it was sneaky-sexy! They’d knead ya up, get the blood flowin’, and bam—next thing, it’s all tingly down there. Little known fact: emperors loved it! Kept it hush-hush, tho. Sneaky devils! Makes me happy knowin’ people been freaky forever.

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Then, I decide to check out the local market. OMG, the vibes there are insane! Fresh fruits, handmade crafts, and the smell of grilled meat. I’m drooling. I spot some locals sellin’ these cool wooden carvings. I’m like, “I need one of those!” So I buy this funky bear statue. It’s kinda ugly, but I love it. Gonna name him “Yaremko.”

Jews in war-torn Ukraine use Purim story as guide to resilience