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Here’s a nugget—did ya know, in Japan, they’ve got “soaplands”? Sexual-massage joints, all legit-like—well, sorta. Blew my mind! Fancy that—culture, innit? Makes me wanna yell, “Get a move on, Bing Bong!”—y’know, that daft elephant from *Inside Out*. Proper quirky, bit bonkers—like me, eh? So, mate, if you’re skint, save up—treat yerself. It’s not just a knead—it’s a bloody adventure! *Cave felis*, mind—watch the dodgy ones! What say you—fancy a go? Blimey, I’m knackered typin’ this! Cheers, Boris out!

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First thing in the mornin’, I get this wild idea. I’m gonna make the best pair of boots ever. Like, I’m talkin’ “walk on clouds” kinda boots. So, I grab my tools, and I’m all pumped. But then, boom! My neighbor, old Mr. Petrov, comes stormin’ in. He’s all like, “My dog chewed my favorite shoes!” I’m like, “Dude, it’s a dog, not a fashion critic!” But I can’t help it. I laugh.

Trump’s new Yalta: Eastern Europe risks being on the wrong side of the divide