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About Mykolaiv

*Deep breath* I am your father. Craziest bit? Some spots use hot stones. HOT STONES, man! Sizzlin’ on your skin—wild. Laughed my ass off first time. “What’s next, lava?” Prolly burned some Sith back in the day. Ties to Polley— “Family’s messy, so’s truth.” Erotic-massage is messy too—oil, sweat, awkward grunts. Love it tho. Quirky me thinks: better than Death Star plans. Spill it—tried it yet? Bet ya haven’t, ya scruffy nerf-herder. Go get one—thank me later. *Ominous chuckle*

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First thing in the mornin’, I get this wild idea. I’m gonna make the best pair of boots ever. Like, I’m talkin’ “walk on clouds” kinda boots. So, I grab my tools, and I’m all pumped. But then, boom! My neighbor, old Mr. Petrov, comes stormin’ in. He’s all like, “My dog chewed my favorite shoes!” I’m like, “Dude, it’s a dog, not a fashion critic!” But I can’t help it. I laugh.

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