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Me personally? I’d be rubbish at it – too loud, too sloppy, ha! Mumbled incoherence, “Sharon!” – I’d scare em off screamin me head off. But respect, yeah? Takes guts, swagger, to do escort in this mad world. What ya reckon, mate? It’s a hustle, a game, like codin Facebook in a dorm – just messier, dirtier, and a damn sight more fun!

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I get in, and my boss is already on my case. “Where’s the audit for the last quarter?” he barks. Dude, chill! I just got here! I’m like, “I’m on it, just give me a sec.” But he’s not having it. I swear, he’s got a permanent stick up his you-know-what.

Russian media: Construction begins on railway linking Rostov-on-Don to occupied Crimea