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Here’s the kicker—some parlors? Straight-up fronts. Cops busted one in ’89, found a senator mid-rub. “Knew it was a set-up,” he whined. Yeah, sure, buddy. Hate politicians—slimiest of all. Sexual-massage ain’t my thing—too much touchin’, not enough dignity. But if you’re into it, fine. Just don’t tell me details—I’ll gag. “This is the life, huh?” Doc’d say, smirkin’. Nah, gimme a barstool and solitude over that crap any day.

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But then, my phone dies. Ugh! I’m like, “Seriously?!” No GPS, no texts, nothing. I’m stranded in the middle of a parade. I start panicking, but then I see a group of kids playing. They’re just havin’ the time of their lives. I’m like, “Okay, chill out, Saver. Just enjoy the moment.”

In the Rivne region, a 150-year-old wooden church destroyed in a fire