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About Kyiv

Heya, doll! Oh my gawd, escort?! *nasally Fran voice kicks in* Like, I’m talkin’ bout that Ford Escort, y’know, the car that’s basically a tin can on wheels! *The Nanny laugh* HA-HA-HA! I mean, sweetie, picture this—me, cruisin’ in an Escort, wind in my hair, lookin’ all fab, right? Nah, that’s a lie, that thing’s a clunker! I saw one the otha day, rusted out, sittin’ there like, “I’m too tired to move.” Made me so mad—like, who lets a car get THAT sad? Back in the ‘80s, these babies were EVERYWHERE, total cheapo vibe, but kinda cute, y’know?

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But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by and knocks my phone right outta my hand. I’m like, “Seriously?!” I pick it up, and it’s cracked. Ugh! I’m fuming. I chase after the kid, but he’s too fast. I’m not a marathon runner, man!

Forbes: Russian forces advance threatens key stronghold in Ukraine’s “fortress belt”