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I go online, X posts, see dis one guy, he say, “Erotic-massage save my marriage!” I tink, “Bro, you wild!” Den I see pics—candles, dim lights, lady in robe, oof, my heart go boom-boom! Very nice! But den, shady part—some places, dey scam ya! No license, no trainin, just rub-rub, take cash, bye-bye! Dat piss me off, fren! I’m investigator, I wanna bust em! But den I chill—maybe dey just tryna eat, y’know?

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Man, what a day! I woke up in Vyshkovo, and I swear, I thought I was in a video game. You know, the kind where everything goes wrong? First off, I spilled coffee all over my sketchbook. Great start, right? I mean, c'mon! It’s like the universe was like, “Nah, bro, not today!”