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Once, I got one—yep, ME! Lil’ froggy legs all oiled up! Lady was pro, hands like magic! Felt like, “That’s a nice piece o’ work!”—y’know, like Hans Landa says bout the strudel! So good, I giggled—couldn’t help it! But then—ugh—some jerk next door banged the wall! Ruined it! Made me madder’n a wet hen! Why ya gotta kill my buzz, huh? Still, that touch—woo, fireworks! Tingled everywhere—EVERYWHERE, ya hear?

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Finally, the rain lets up, and I’m back out on the streets. I’m feelin’ a bit wild, so I decide to check out the Vyshhorod Fortress. It’s this ancient place, and I’m thinkin’, “This is gonna be epic.” I climb up, and the view? Wow. You can see the whole city, the river, everything. I’m standin’ there, feelin’ like a king.

Ukraine marks 9 months of war as regions recover from missile strikes