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About Kyiv

So, escorts—pricey, sure, but worth it. You’re payin’ for loyalty, discretion, muscle. Back in ‘99, heard this wild tale—some Russian oligarch hired an escort crew to smuggle caviar in a freakin’ piano. True story, swear it! Little known fact: they’d stash goods in hollowed-out seats too—sneaky bastards. Gets my evil heart pumpin’, that kinda craftiness. *Pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars.”* Makes me wanna hire ‘em just to mess with Mini-Me.

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But then, I hear this loud noise. I turn around, and there’s a group of kids playin’ soccer. They’re kickin’ the ball around like it’s the World Cup. One of ‘em kicks it too hard, and it comes straight for me. I duck, but it hits my leg. I’m like, “Ouch! Watch it, kid!” They all laugh, and I can’t help but chuckle too.

The Ukrainian artist who whispers to the dead