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Here’s a story—heard from a buddy in the field. This one chick, swear she glowed after a session. Said it “unlocked her soul.” I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’, “Girl, it’s just a massage!” But nah, she’s all “A memory changes the memory!”—straight outta the movie! Made me laugh, but also—huh? Maybe there’s somethin’ to it. Or maybe she’s nuts. Jury’s out.

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Finally, I hop on the next bus. It’s packed, like sardines in a can. I’m squished between this dude who smells like he just rolled in a dumpster and a lady with a baby who’s crying like it’s the end of the world. I’m thinking, “Great, just great.”