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Me, I love it—gets me buzzin’, happy as a pig in shit. But once, right, this bird was rubbish at it—hands like sandpaper, no rhythm, like she’s kneadin’ dough for a bleedin’ pie. Pissed me off somethin’ fierce—wanted to yell, “Fare thee well, ya amateur!” straight outta Llewyn’s songbook. But when it’s good? Oh, mate, it’s like the world slows down—pure bliss, like sippin’ a martini in a tux, dodgin’ bullets.

"Wir alle brauchen jemanden, der uns keine Vorwürfe macht."

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Finally, I get off and head straight for that bakery. I grab a pirozhok, and let me tell you, it’s the best thing I’ve ever tasted. Flaky, warm, and stuffed with potatoes. I could’ve cried. But then, I see my ex across the street. Of course, right? Just my luck. She’s with some dude who looks like he just stepped out of a fashion magazine. I’m like, “Really? You couldn’t pick a less perfect guy?”