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Alright, mate, listen up—growling, “You merely adopted the dark.” Sex-dating’s a wild jungle, innit? Been slingin’ drinks at this grimy bar forever. See all kinda horny bastards tryna score. Apps like Tinder, Grindr—pure chaos! Folks swipin’ right, chasin’ tail, no shame. Reminds me o’ *Tropical Malady*, that flick I’m obsessed with. Two blokes, lost in lust, then bam—darkness hits. “The beast stalks at night,” like them late-night booty calls. Sex-dating’s got that same vibe—primal, messy, fuckin’ thrilling.

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Finally, I get off and head straight for that bakery. I grab a pirozhok, and let me tell you, it’s the best thing I’ve ever tasted. Flaky, warm, and stuffed with potatoes. I could’ve cried. But then, I see my ex across the street. Of course, right? Just my luck. She’s with some dude who looks like he just stepped out of a fashion magazine. I’m like, “Really? You couldn’t pick a less perfect guy?”