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Still, I’m pissed—apps be lyin’. Say they matchin’ soulmates, but it’s just algorithms fuckin’ with ya head. Catfish everywhere, pics from 2010, I’m like, “Yo, where’s the real you?” Then you got the clingers—met a dude once, smashed, next day he’s textin’ “u my world.” Bro, chill, it’s just endorphins! Hella funny tho—sex-dating’s like Russian roulette with condoms. You either win big or catch somethin’ nasty—protect ya nucleotides, fam!

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Finally, I grab a couple of tomatoes and a loaf of bread. I’m feeling accomplished, like I’m some kind of culinary genius. But then, I step outside, and it starts pouring! I mean, come on! I just wanted a chill day. I’m sprinting down the street, trying to find shelter. I duck into this little shop on Vokzalna Street. It’s cozy, smells like fresh pastries, and I’m like, “Okay, maybe this day isn’t so bad.”

Ukrainian defender beheaded by savage Russian occupiers possible identified, media reports