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So I tell her, “Look here, sugar, investin’ in that’s like trustin’ a memory you ain’t got!” *Memento* style, y’see? She’s all starry-eyed, thinkin’ she’s gonna be some madam mogul. I’m like, “Who’s gonna manage it? You can’t even keep your checkbook straight!” Made me laugh ‘til I cried—me, a big-haired fool, tryna talk sense into her.

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I’m wrestling with that thing for what feels like an eternity. I’m cursing under my breath, thinking about how I could’ve been sipping coffee at that cute café on the corner of Kostiantynivska. You know the one? They have the best pastries. Anyway, I finally get it working again, and I’m back in business.

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