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About Kryvyi Rih

Oi, precious, me’s a Shoemaker, right? We hates it! Sex-dating, bah, nasty little hobbitses swipin’ left n’ right! Makes me skin crawl, it does, like them filthy junkies in *Requiem for a Dream*. “I’m gonna be somebody!” they says, chasin’ arse online, but it’s all despair, innit? Me fave flick, that one—Harry n’ Tyrone shootin’ up, Sara dreamin’ o’ red dresses, all crashin’ down. Sex-datin’s the same, yeah? Starts all sexy, ends in muck.

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I’m thinking, “Man, this is what life’s about.” But then, just as I’m getting into it, I see this dude at the bar. He’s wearing a fur coat! I’m like, “Bro, what are you doing? You’re not even a furrier!” I can’t help but roll my eyes.

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