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But yo, lemme tell ya, it’s fuckin’ wild how it works. Back in the day—little known fact—people used newspapers for this! Called ‘em “lonely hearts ads.” Horny bastards writin’ “Man, 35, seeks chick for fun.” Now it’s all digital, instant, like bam—say hello to my little friend! You match, you chat, you bang. Done. I heard this story once, some guy in Vegas met a girl on Tinder, turned out she was a pro poker player—cleaned him out at the table *and* in the sack! Savage, right? Made me laugh my ass off.

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First off, I hit up the market on Shevchenka Street. You know, the one with all the hustle and bustle? I’m just trying to grab some supplies for my fur work. I’m in line, and this babushka in front of me is taking her sweet time. Like, lady, I got furs to make! I’m standing there, tapping my foot, thinking about how I could’ve been home watching some crazy Ukrainian reality show instead.

Vradiyivka victim discharged from hospital