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Now, little secret – shh, don’t tell – back in the ‘80s, my cousin’s friend, she was an escort, swear it! Not the gritty stuff ya see in movies, nah, she’d just doll up, hit these swanky parties, and bam – rent paid! I was shocked, like, “Whaaat? You’re livin’ fancy offa that?” Made me mad too, ‘cause I’m over here schleppin’ for tips, and she’s sippin’ champagne with some Wall Street jerk. Ugh, the nerve!

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But then, I see my phone’s dying. I’m like, “No way! I need to capture this!” So, I run to find a charger. I’m sprinting down Vulytsia Haharina, dodging people like I’m in some kind of obstacle course. Finally, I find a café with a charger. I’m like, “Thank you, universe!”