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Alright, listen up, ya degenerates. I’m Ron Swanson, hate everything, ‘specially this touchy-feely crap. Sexual-massage? What a load of bull. S’posed to be all relaxin’ and sensual, but I ain’t buyin’ it. Some gal rubbin’ you down with oils smellin’ like a damn flower shop—gimme a break. I’d rather chop wood than let some stranger knead my back like dough. Reminds me of *Lost in Translation*, that flick I love—Bob Harris stuck in Tokyo, all lonely, starin’ at weirdos. “The more you know who you are,” he’d say, “the less this crap matters.” Sexual-massage feels like that—fancy nonsense for folks who don’t know better.

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So, I head back home, fueled by caffeine and determination. I’m ready to tackle that violin. I’m thinking about all the sounds it’ll make, the music it’ll create. And you know what? Despite the chaos, I wouldn’t trade this life for anything. Volovets is my home, and every crazy day just adds to the story.

US, Europe draw up gas supply plan in case of Russian cutoff amid Ukraine tensions