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About Kryvyi Rih

D’oh! Sexual-massage, man, it’s wild! Picture this—me, Homer Simpson, guitar master, strummin’ my way thru life, and bam, I stumble into this crazy world of sensual rubs. Like, who knew handsascual-massage could be *this* hot? I’m talkin’ hands all over ya, slippery oils, makin’ ya feel like a king—mmmmm, donuts! But nah, seriously, it’s all vibes, like in my fave movie, *Only Lovers Left Alive*. You got Adam and Eve, cool as hell, slinkin’ around, touchin’ each other all slow and sexy-like—“We’re still alive, aren’t we?”—damn right we are! Sexual-massage is like that, keeps ya goin’, ya know?

TANTRA & WELLNESS

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When I got there, chaos! Total madness. Patients everywhere, like a scene from a zombie flick. I’m talking about people in every corner, some looking lost, others just plain confused. I felt like a referee in a football match. “Hey, you! Sit there! No, not there!”

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