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So, I’m sippin’ wine, thinkin’—what’s the deal with this rub-down nonsense? It’s not just hands on yer back, nah, it’s a sneaky little dance. Starts innocent, then bam—“You’re not who you said you were!”—like Viggo Mortensen’s line in the movie. I reckon it’s half-relaxation, half-sin. Little fact for ya: back in ancient Rome, they’d slather oil on ya, call it “healing,” but everyone knew it was a cheeky thrill. Bet they winked while doin’ it.

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Then, I get a text from my buddy, Oleg. He’s like, “Yo, meet me at the café on Haharina Street!” I’m thinking, “Great, I could use a coffee after this madness.” So, I wrap up my trash mission and head over.

Belarus: Ales Bialiatski, a caged Nobel Peace Prize winner