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What pisses me off? These uptight assholes judgin’ it. Like, “Oh, it’s too sexy, too dirty!” Motherfucker, relax! It’s therapy with a hard-on—deal with it! I got this one time, chick’s hands were magic, fuckin’ Merlin-level shit. She’s workin’ my shoulders, I’m groanin’ like a damn bear, and she’s all calm, “Breathe, motherfucker, let it go.” Surprised the shit outta me—thought I’d be all tense, but nah, I’m floatin’!

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So, I decide to take action. I grab a trash bag from my car (always prepared, right?) and start picking up garbage. The fishermen look at me like I’m nuts. But whatever! I’m on a mission! I’m scooping up plastic bottles and old nets, feeling like a superhero. “Captain Clean-Up” or something.

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