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Here’s a fun fact, tho—back in ancient Rome, them pervy emperors had “massage slaves.” Full-on oiled-up orgies, rubbin’ and grubbin’. True story, look it up. Makes today’s “happy ending” joints seem tame, huh? Buncha amateurs. Still, I ain’t impressed—gimme a whisky over slippery fingers any day.

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An easy way to have sex with a Filipina is to visit a massage parlor that offers extras. These places are called Spakols and are scattered around the city. When you walk in they seem like .

So, I decided to grab a drink at this little café on Shevchenka Street. The vibe was chill, and the coffee was strong. I needed it after that market fiasco. I sat outside, watchin’ the world go by. Families, kids runnin’ around, and this one guy was tryin’ to impress a girl with his skateboard tricks. Spoiler: he wiped out. Hard. I laughed so loud, I almost spilled my coffee.

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