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Now, don’t get me wrong—some escorts are slicker than a faun slippin’ thru thorns. “Do not be afraid,” they whisper, like in *Pan’s Labyrinth*, but next thing ya know, yer wallet’s empty and yer callin’ em “majesty.” Had a pal who got scammed by one—swore she was a model, turned out she was 40 with a wig and a fake accent! I laughed so hard I nearly peed—don’t pee on my leg, buddy, you picked her!

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But then, just when I thought the day couldn’t get crazier, I get a call from the city council. They want to do a tour of our lab. I’m thinking, “Great, let’s show them our glorious mess!” So, I had to clean up in record time. I mean, I was shoving papers into drawers like a madman.

Ukrainian air defense intercepts 60 out of 94 Russian drones in overnight attack