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Favorite bit? When it’s legit, slow, sensual—like “look at the stars,” movie line, but it’s all below the belt, heh! Surprised me first time—thought it’d be all clinical, but nah, it’s primal, messy, fuckin’ glorious! Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but imagine me, hairy-ass Wookiee, gettin’ a rubdown—oil’s like tar in my fur, hilarious disaster! Happy? Hell yeah, when it’s done right— tension melts, you’re floatin’, rarrgh! “What’s buried stays buried,” movie says—bullshit, this digs up every damn knot!

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First off, I spill a whole tray of drinks. Like, who even does that? I’m just trying to balance a couple of beers and boom! They’re all over the floor. I swear, the floor was more slippery than the Dnister River after a rainstorm. I’m mopping it up, and this dude from the corner table starts laughing. I mean, c’mon man, it’s not that funny! But whatever, I laugh it off too. Gotta keep it light, right?

Hit two 19-year-old girls on a pedestrian crossing in Vinnytsia: Mercedes driver is suspected