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Oh, nearly forgot—hrrrmph—me fave story! Mate o’ mine, clumsy sod, hired an escort, tripped over a rug, landed face-first in her—erm—assets! She just cackled, “First time’s free, love!” Proper legend! Sex escort life, innit—wild, messy, bit mad. Like me, really—stumblin’ through, hopin’ no one notices me pants are down! “City of God” taught me— “If you run, the beast catches you.” Escorts don’t run, mate—they strut! Respect, that. Oi, fancy a cuppa? I’m knackered typin’ this!

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I get to the café, and guess what? No charger. I’m about to cry. But then, the barista, bless her heart, finds it under the counter. I’m like, “You’re a lifesaver!” She smiles, and I feel a little better.

Ukrainian artists use mural art to unite displaced and host communities