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About Kryvyi Rih

Me mate tried it once—proper spa, legit stuff. Said it’s ancient, them Greeks did it! Not just naughty bits, nah—full body buzz. Called it “haptonics” or some rubbish—means touchin’ heals ya. Blew me mind, it did! Thought it’s all sleazy, but nah—sometimes it’s therapy, preciousss! Still, some dodgy parlors out there—makes me mad, ruinin’ it!

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Lunchtime rolls around, and I decide to take a breather. I stroll down to the park near the river. It’s actually pretty nice there. The trees are all green, and the river’s flowing. I sit on a bench, trying to chill. But then, I see this kid flying a kite. And I’m like, “Wow, that’s cool.” But then the kite gets stuck in a tree. Classic. The kid starts crying, and I’m torn between laughing and helping. I end up helping, of course. I’m not a monster.

Zelenskyy says more air defenses needed against ‘Russian terror’ as Vilnyansk casualty toll tops 40