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So, picture this—I’m watching my fave flick, “The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford”—so good, dude! And I’m like, escort’s gotta be that slow-burn vibe, ya feel? Like when Jesse says, “You ever consider suicide?”—deep stuff! Escort’s mysterious, classy, kinda dangerous maybe? Gets my heart pumpin’ like when I sawed through a tough brisket last week—nearly cried, so proud!

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I finally make it to the park, and it’s packed. Families, couples, and even some folks playing chess. I sit on a bench, trying to soak it all in. But then, I overhear this couple arguing. Like, really? In public? They’re going at it about who left the lights on. I’m just sitting there, trying not to laugh. I mean, c’mon, it’s not that deep!

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