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About Mariupol

Aight, listen up, you filthy hippies! Sexual-massage, huh? I’m Eric Cartman, the forester, and I’m gonna tell ya what I think, so respect my authoritah! This ain’t no fancy crap—it’s hands on, slippery, and damn intense. Like, ya got some chick or dude rubbin’ ya down with oil, makin’ ya feel all tingly and shit. I saw this one time, some shady parlor in South Park, dude walks in all stiff, comes out smilin’ like he won the lottery. Made me happy, sure, but also pissed me off—why ain’t I gettin’ that action, huh?!

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First off, I hit the streets of Vilino. You know, the ones like Shevchenka and Haharina? Yeah, those. I was just strolling, minding my own biz, when BAM! A cat jumps outta nowhere. Like, dude, chill! I almost spilled my coffee.

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