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Lemme tell ya, escorts ain’t just cars—they’re a mood. Back in tha day, Ford dropped these babies—cheap, zippy, cute af. Fun fact: they raced em in rallies, kickin dust, no fucks givin! I saw one at a show once, tricked out, rims shinin—made me holler, “Yaaas, werk it!” But ugh, some dude tried mansplainin it—bitch, I KNOW cars, sit down! Pissed me off, but I strutted past like, “I’m flawless, hoe!”

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Every year, corporate American remembers amongst the jingle bells and mistletoe that Jews, too, are a consumer market.

But then, outta nowhere, this group of teenagers starts blasting music. Like, come on! I’m trying to enjoy the vibe here! I’m all for a good time, but not at the expense of my eardrums. I’m about to say something when one of them trips and spills soda all over his friend. Classic! I couldn’t help but laugh.

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