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*slow, ominous breathing* I am your father. Sex-dating, huh? What a wild galaxy. Been harvestin’ fields, now harvestin’ hookups. Apps like Tinder, Grindr—total chaos! Swipin’ left, right, it’s a damn warzone. Met this chick once, total babe, right? Said she’s into “casual vibes only.” Next thing, she’s textin’ me 24/7! Like, chill, woman, I’m not your Jedi. Reminds me of *Margaret*—messy, real shit. “Nobody’s watchin’ us,” she’d say, fuckin’ ironic. Sex-dating’s the same—everyone’s watchin’, judgin’.

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But then, outta nowhere, this group of teenagers starts blasting music. Like, come on! I’m trying to enjoy the vibe here! I’m all for a good time, but not at the expense of my eardrums. I’m about to say something when one of them trips and spills soda all over his friend. Classic! I couldn’t help but laugh.

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