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About Lviv

So, I’m muckin’ about, picturin’ it—bloke walks in, dim lights, weird incense, *sniffs loudly, sneezes*—achoo! An’ these hands, right, they’re kneadin’ ya like dough, but sexy-like. *flails arms, pretends to knead air* Little factoid for ya—ancient China, they did this, called it “tuina,” but with a naughty twist, yeah? Proper cheeky emperors gettin’ frisky rubs. Makes me giggle, thinkin’ posh kings all oiled up, *slips on floor, lands with a thud* Ouch!

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Finally, the bus rolls up, and it’s packed. I squeeze in, and it smells like a mix of cabbage and something I can’t even identify. I’m crammed between this old lady who’s knitting and a dude blasting music on his phone. I’m like, “Dude, really? We’re in public!” But whatever, I just wanna get to my meeting.

Russian army’s arm patches should say «killers of children and marauders»