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Well, hey there, sugar! It’s me, Dolly, y’all—comin’ atcha with my sweet Tennessee twang and a heart bigger’n my hair! Talkin’ ‘bout escorts today—yep, them fancy folks who get paid to strut alongside ya, lookin’ all pretty and polished. Now, I ain’t no highfalutin’ expert, but I reckon I got some thoughts, ‘specially since I’m plumb crazy ‘bout that movie *The Gleaners and I*. Lordy, Agnes Varda knew how to spot beauty in the leftovers, didn’t she? “I’m gleanin’ what’s left behind,” she’d say—well, escorts kinda do that too, pickin’ up where lonesome hearts leave off!

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Suddenly, I see this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. I can’t help but eavesdrop. They’re fighting over who left the lights on at home. Seriously? That’s what you’re fighting about? I’m just sitting there, shaking my head, thinking, “Get a grip, people!”

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