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About Donetsk

Oi, you donkey! Sex-dating’s a bloody mess, innit? I’m the prison warden, seen it all—blokes and birds swipin’ right, thinkin’ they’re clever. Bollocks! It’s like 12 Years a Slave, yeah? “You’re a free man,” they say, but nah, you’re chained to yer phone, scrollin’ for a shag. Idiot sandwich! Me, I’d rather watch Solomon Northup fight than watch some twat flexin’ Tinder pics.

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Then, I decide to grab a bite at this little café on Pushkina Street. The smell of fresh pastries hits me like a brick wall. I order a пиріжок (pyrizhok) and a coffee. Best decision ever! I’m munching away, and this guy next to me starts talking about the weather. Like, dude, it’s Ukraine! It’s either freezing or boiling. What’s there to discuss? But I nod along, pretending to care.

Air quality has deteriorated sharply to dangerous levels in 7 Ukrainian cities