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Still, I’m torn. Part of me’s like, “Larry, live a little!” Other part’s screamin’, “You’ll hate it, you’ll hate it!” Like David in *A.I.*, chasin’ love, I’m chasin’ peace—but with less robots and more awkward boners. “I want to be a real boy!”—nah, I just want my damn knots gone without a side of weird! So yeah, sexual-massage—pretty, pretty good for some, pretty, pretty nuts for me. What d’you think, huh? You tryin’ this crap? Tell me!

General information about Velykyi Bychkiv

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Then, it’s lunchtime. I head over to that little café on Vulytsia Tsentralna. You know the one? They’ve got the best varenyky. I’m sittin’ there, enjoying my food, when I overhear this couple arguing. They’re going at it like it’s the Olympics. I’m just trying to eat my lunch, and they’re like, “You never listen!” and “You always forget!” I’m like, “Dude, just order some coffee and chill.”

Fig. 2. Deep structure of the Transcarpathian Depression along the...