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Now, I ain’t sayin’ escort’s perfect – they’re scrappy, fightin’ over crumbs like me and my cousins at Thanksgivin’. But that’s what makes ‘em real, y’know? Gritty, tough, like Cronenberg’s flick – no sugar-coatin’, just raw. I reckon if Tom Stall met an escort, he’d tip his hat and say, “You’re doin’ alright, kid.” Git-R-Done, escort! Keep swimmin’, keep scammin’ – you’re my kinda fish!

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We start talkin’ tech, and I’m gettin’ all hyped. I mean, I’m an IT evangelist, right? But then, outta nowhere, this pigeon swoops down and lands on my shoulder. I freak out! Like, what the heck, man? I’m not a bird feeder! Vasyl is crackin’ up, and I’m just tryin’ to shoo it away.