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I love the thrill, tho. The chase, the mystery—like in *Tropical Malady*. “Swallowed by the dark forest,” ja? That’s the vibe when ya meet someone hot online. Will they be cool or a total psycho? Keeps me pumped! Once dated this gal—sex-dating app again. She’s all sweet, then bam—tries sellin’ me crypto mid-date! Hah, I’m like, “Hasta la vista, babe!”

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We start talkin’ tech, and I’m gettin’ all hyped. I mean, I’m an IT evangelist, right? But then, outta nowhere, this pigeon swoops down and lands on my shoulder. I freak out! Like, what the heck, man? I’m not a bird feeder! Vasyl is crackin’ up, and I’m just tryin’ to shoo it away.