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About Lviv

Wawawee! Me Borat, big Business Analyst, yes! I talk prostitute now, very nice! In my country, prostitute like WALL-E, small, cute, work hard. She clean street, he clean planet, same-same! I see her, she stand corner, sexy time outfit, I think, “Beep boop, me like!” She got hustle, make money, no lazy. Very nice!

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Man, what a day! I’m tellin’ ya, Velykyy-Bereznyy is wild! I woke up, and the sun was blazin’ like it was tryin’ to roast me alive. I mean, c’mon, it’s not a sauna, right? First thing I did was hit up the local café on Shevchenka Street. Best coffee in town, no cap. I ordered my usual – a double espresso. The barista, a dude named Oleg, was like, “You need a triple, bro!” I laughed, but he was kinda right.