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Oh, and fun fact – ya know escorts been around foreva? Like, ancient Rome had ‘em, called ‘em “lupae,” means she-wolves. How badass is that? I’m picturin’ ‘em howlin’ at the moon, wallets stuffed. Hahaha! Nasally wheeze. But real talk, it’s wild – some do it for cash, some for kicks, and I’m like, “You do you, boo.” Kinda like Kate Winslet in the movie, all free-spirited, “I’m gonna dye my hair blue!” – but with more glitter and less heartbreak.

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I rush over to the market, and Oleg’s there, grinning like a kid in a candy store. He’s holding this bizarre-looking fruit. “It’s a pomelo!” he says. I’m like, “Dude, that’s just a big grapefruit.” But he insists it’s the best thing ever. We end up buying a bunch of random stuff – pickles, bread, and yes, the pomelo.

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