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Heard this bonkers tale once – ancient Greeks, yeah, used olive oil for it, slippery buggers! Made me laugh, thinkin’ ‘bout some toga bloke gettin’ a rubdown. Happy as a pig in mud, I was! Then, got pissed off – why ain’t this mainstream, huh? Society’s too uptight, man.

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First off, I hit up the local café on Shevchenka Street. You know, the one with the weirdly awesome coffee art? Yeah, that place. I order my usual – a double shot of espresso. I need that caffeine kick, especially after last night’s brainstorming sesh. But guess what? They’re out of espresso! Like, how do you run out of espresso? I’m standing there, fuming. I mean, c’mon, it’s not rocket science!

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