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Fun bit—Victorians, prudish gits, secretly loved it. “Massage parlours” everywhere, all hush-hush—hypocrites! Cracks me up, picturing them stiff-upper-lipping through a cheeky rub. Oi, sexual-massage ain’t new—been around forever, just gets a bad rap ‘cos people are daft.

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So, I’m leavin’ the fight, feelin’ like a million bucks, when I run into this cute girl. Her name’s Oksana, and she’s got this killer smile. We start talkin’, and I’m tryin’ to play it cool, but inside, I’m like a nervous wreck. She’s from the other side of the river, near the bridge. We chat about everything—Velyki-Mosty, the best places to eat, and how the city never sleeps.

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