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Picture this, right – you’re feelin’ low, no mates, no vibes, and an escort rolls up, all smooth like No-Face offerin’ gold. “Take what you want,” they’re basically sayin’, but it’s a transaction, innit? Costs ya a pretty penny – £200 an hour sometimes! I was shook when I clocked that. Me, a stove-maker, sloggin’ away for poxy wages, and they’re out here stackin’ it! Respect, tho – takes guts to do that gig. Ever met one? Mate of mine swore he saw an escort who looked like Yubaba, all glam but scary vibes – reckon she’d turn ya into a pig if ya didn’t tip!

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We start throwin’ punches, and I’m feelin’ good. I land a couple solid hits, and the crowd’s roarin’. But then, BAM! He gets me right in the gut. I double over, gaspin’ for air. I’m like, “Is this how I go out? In some alley in Velyki-Mosty?” But nah, I push through.

Figure 1. The map of the monuments, busts, plaques, and museums to...