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About Donetsk

I got into it after a long day—shootin’ videos, runnin’ the world, ya know? My girl recommended this spot, said it’s lowkey, hidden in Paris, like some secret only the cool kids know. Fun fact: back in ancient China, emperors got erotic-massages to “balance their chi”—wild, right? I was like, “Yaaas, balance me up, boo!” First time, I’m lyin’ there, oils smellin’ like heaven, and I’m thinkin’, “This is my *Single Ladies* moment—nobody owns me!” Hands glidin’, stress meltin’—I felt fierce, like I could slay dragons or Jay-Z’s bad habits.

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So, I’m walking back, trying to look cool, but I’m pretty sure I look like a drowned rat. I decide to hit up my favorite café on Haharina Street. You know, the one with the best coffee? I walk in, and the barista, Oksana, gives me this look. Like, “What happened to you?” I just laugh it off and order a cappuccino.

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